Yep, I’m the father-of-the-year.
We don’t usually let the boy into the bathroom unless there’s a reason. Well, this time the reason was I had to “go to the bathroom.” It’s pretty well child-proofed so I figured it would be fine for the couple of minutes I would need.
The boy had already shown that he could open the drawers of the cabinet beneath the sink so I had moved my razors. Previously he had also gotten a hold of a bottle of over-the-counter antacid, but it has a child-proof cap and it sounded like a rattle and he likes to shake things…
So this time he gets the bottle out of the drawer, sits down, starts to shake it and I figure, what’s the harm, he’s entertaining himself for a few moments, I’ve got my eye on him…and then…uh oh, just like that, the bottle is open. I say “NO!” and quickly leave my, uh, seated position and grab the bottle.
It’s so hard to know if he realizes that he’s not supposed to do that. Maybe I’ll have him try to open my fake can of nuts. Y’know, the one with the spring-loaded snakes in it. That’ll teach him.
Like I said, father-of-the-year.

The can of snakes, although a pretty good idea, could emotionally scar him for life….
Isn’t that the job of a parent?
How about a Jack in the Box?
An over-the-counter Jack in the Box or one of those fancy prescription ones?