Conditional love

Like it says on the marquee – all of this is true. That is the actual number I stopped him at.

As a parent of an infant, you are on the receiving end of no end of physical punishment. You get poked, punched, kicked, scratched, slapped – think of a related verb and it will likely happen to you. I take a little bit of pride that if my son wants to, say, pull my lower lip in public, in front of a crowd of people I just presented a talk to (as he did two nights ago), I let it roll off of me. It’s just playing – it doesn’t matter. The Kleenex box incident may have been the first time I put a halt to something.

At Christmas, with all the wrapping paper around, the boy discovered how much he loved crinkling it. Then we started to give him magazines we had already read. This was problematic because you’d have to watch him like a parental hawk since, after tearing it up into smaller and smaller pieces, he’d start to put said pieces into his mouth. So small, empty boxes were the next step – more durable with the added element of, well, not being flat – certainly more fun to play with. We had a number of them strewn around the house, including our bed, which is where the above event occurred.

The two things that are giving us trouble at the moment are that he likes to lean on my throat while on my chest, and feel my tongue move in my mouth. Putting his hands in my mouth is nothing new, but he’s either getting his fingers in too far or pushing on my tongue or something, and I can feel myself start to gag.

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5 Responses to “Conditional love”


  1. 1 Erin April 14, 2011 at 8:03 am

    Your best one so far.

  2. 2 Frank Mariani April 21, 2011 at 7:10 am

    What if it was a brick, John? Love can and should stop at three. But it’s a good love.

  3. 3 Jeff April 26, 2011 at 2:19 am

    There’s also the hair pulling and grabbing your glasses. My son, when an infant, loved to really pull my hair and pull on my glasses, and it is amazing how strong a baby’s grip is.

  4. 5 fleas November 30, 2011 at 8:27 am

    That was very illustrative post!!!


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